The Illegal Aliens

Tonight’s Sci-Fi tale chronicles the fate of a man who’s rescuers turn out to be a far worse threat. I call it: “The Illegal Aliens”

One comment was all it took. One sentence and his life was turned upside down.

Luckily, his tears were short-lived. Within a few hours came the call that changed his life.

A former rival wanted to hire him! Happiness would be his once again!

He jumped in his car and drove down to his new office for an official orientation. –

His new boss met him at the door. “You’re not what we usually hire,” he said. “but you’ll do.”

“I can’t tell you how…” he started. But the boss cut him off with a lazily yawned, “Whatever.”

“Here’s your office,” said the boss. It’s not the best, but you’re new so I don’t care.”

“And over here,” said the boss, continuing the tour, “Is the Cash Room.”

“Wow! That’s a lot of money! Why do you have so much cash lying around?”

“Takes a lot to buy a country,” said the boss. “Whenever you need some just grab a few piles.”

“Since you’re new,” he continued, “Your pile is the one over near the corner.”

“What’s behind that door at the end of the hall?” “Nothing you need to see yet.” said the boss.

A large man slithered up. “So there you are!” he smiled, “You must let me introduce you around.”

“Um… OK?” said our man, as he watched the boss mumble something about China and wander off.

“Good, he’s gone.” said the big man, “Now get back to your office and get started!”

“I want a 5 minute piece on liberal censorship on my desk by 6:00. Get to it!”

He stared blankly as the fat man left. Then turned to slink back to his miniature office.

It wasn’t long before his first visitor. “So,” said his guest, “Ready to take a little revenge?”

“I don’t know about revenge,” he responded, “I just want to put these past few hours behind me.”

“Ooh, look at him trying to hold onto his noble ideals!” mocked his guest, turning to leave.

Another guest soon arrived. “Well,” this one began, “Seems your friends gave you the shaft!”

Our man smiled stiffly. “Well,” he said, “I did cross over a pretty serious line.”

“Bullshit!” roared the guest, storming away, “THERE IS NO LINE THAT CAN’T BE CROSSED!”

Soon, another guest. “You!” he shouted, “On my show! We’ll make them suffer tonight!”

“Now, now,” said our man, “I’m not looking to start any more trouble…”

“I get ya! I get ya!” said the guest, “You wanna sneak up on them! Well then, see ya later!”

Taking a break to go to the bathroom, our man noticed the vault’s guard had fallen asleep.

He wondered once again just what was behind the massive door. The signs looked ominous.

He returned to his office to find another guest waiting. A woman with the strangest hands.

“I just came by to laugh at you on my way out,” she chortled. “You’re such a loser!”

Furious, he started to respond, but she was gone before he could get the words out of his mouth.

Just as he turned back to his work, another guest burst in. “Howya doin’ there fella!” she said.

“Have you come to gloat as well?” he said blankly. “Or just bask in my failure?”

“Poor guy,” she said, “God is just punishing you for your past sins. It’ll get better.”

Shortly after she left, he saw a well-dressed man go past his door towards the vault.

Curious, he stuck his head out just in time to see the vault door close behind the strange man.

Noticing the guard was now gone, he made his way to the vault, and slowly opened the door.

And there, inside a richly decorated room, he saw them as they truly were. And his mind snapped forever.

Reclining on a massive throne, the boss sat smoking a cigarette.

The fat man reclined on a sofa, snacking idly on a plate full of oysters.

His first guest was loudly shouting the word “loofa” into the telephone. Repeatedly.

The second guest hunkered over the bar, drink in hand, a paranoid gaze raking the room.

His third guest sat at a table in the corner, nervously fingering a very large firearm.

A powerful claw gripped his wrist and he heard the blonde hiss, “What are you doing here?”

“I… I…,” he stammered, “I’ve made a terrible mistake…”

As his mind frayed away into nothingness, the last words he heard were: “Welcome to the team!”